Poisoned Keyboard

Friday, June 24, 2005

Maybe it's just me...

I do not claim to be a master of political strategy. I'm not a master of political anything. But as a citizen of this country, I retain certain priveledges, one of which is going "Huh???" when one of our public figures plunges off the metaphorical deep end.

Karl Rove's inflammatory remarks yesterday serve as one example. Widely considered to be the de facto tactical genius of the political realm, Karl appears to me to be more like the unruly children at a fancy dinner party: better seen, but not heard. Actually, not seen either. Like when you set up the childrens' table in the basement. So they can play. Anyway...

The one quote of his speech before the fund-raiser for the Conservative Party of New York State that everyone seems to remember is this:

"Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers"

As my friend from Chile likes to say, que??!?

Now, this Einstein of politics surely knows that not only is this statement blatently false, but will be proven so within minutes of its utterence. So why say it? Why even put it out there? Is it to work the "liberals" into such a lather over his comments that they take their eyes off the prize? Is it to reshape the debate into "What Karl Rove said..." instead of "What George Bush did..."? And who does this sort of nonsensical and divisive trash play to anyway? Reportedly the audience erupted into cheers after that statement. Who are these people? Is the Conservative Party of New York State so slobbering drunk on Chateau de Demagogue '57 that their first response to such absurdity is "Yeah, you tell 'em Karl!" Is that the state of the Great Experiment after 200+ years of patriotism, hard work, and countless selfless sacrifices?

Is there no calm voice of reason and sanity with a spare rail on which to perch this clown for his ride out of town?

Also, I pondered something else as I tried to fathom the depths of the Machiavelli of Mayhem's mind. He states that conservatives "prepared for war". What war? I surely hope he is not referring to the War on Terror, which so far has utterly failed to bring in "dead or alive" the arch nemesis we were presented with, despite Porter Goss' recent boast in Time Magazine that he has an "excellent idea where bin Laden is". If you can't dig the most wanted man on the planet out of a cave after nearly 4 years and a bottomless well of money's worth of effort, then perhaps your preparations and your preparers need to be assessed. With hot pokers.

And it obviously was not the War in Iraq, which clearly contained very little preparations at all beyond "Shock and Awe" and "Operation Topple the Statue". If Mr. Rove wants to claim ownership of the current debacle by right of conservatives "preparing for war" then perhaps he should be assessed as well. With hotter pokers.

So I can only assume that they were preparing for some other War. One so brilliant in its conception and thourough in it's preparations that they can't even tell us about it yet. The newspaper is still pasted to the storefront windows. But keep watching this space, because it's coming soon! It's gonna change everything, just wait and see! Your life will never be the same!

Personally I suspect that by "preparing for war", what he really meant was preparing like Americans did in the 50's. With a nice bomb shelter in the backyard with food and water and air and a color TV and a deck of playing cards. For playing some hot poker.

Sigh.




PS. $10 says Karl has some sort of groovy escape capsule that he can retire to when it all hits the fan that will rocket him to safety as he lives out his days in the secret base on the far side of the moon. Now that's prepared!

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